When I was in grade school a neighbor put up a fence. It was taller than me and the boards were poky at the top. I thought it was an unfriendly thing to do, and I told my mother so.

"Good fences make good neighbors," she told me. I did not know then that her pithy response was borrowed from Frost. 

Our moms continued to invite each other for tea, and chat at the mailboxes. But when they had a family party in the back yard we could not rubber neck, although we could hear the laughter.

One summer I invited a handful of girls to sleep in a tent. We ate picnic style on a blanket and dared each other to stay awake until midnight. I was glad the teenagers next door could not see us in our jammies. 

Fences can be a healthy way to delineate boundaries. A surveyor told John that a third of all lawsuits are about boundaries. Certainly the Bible has laborious details about them. Just one instance is the agreement, or should I say truce, between Laban and Jacob.

Here is this heap of stones and here is this pillar, which I have placed between you and me. This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not pass beyond this heap to you, and you will not pass beyond this heap and this pillar to me, for harm. Genesis 31

Marriages are well served by clear boundaries too. Making statements that begin with "I" rather than an accusatory "you" is a start. Taking responsibility for your own feelings is another. Couples can be wise to articulate who does which chores, and how joint money is spent. Having recently reorganized my shelves of marriage books I noticed titles like You Paid How Much for That? and His Needs Her Needs.

It helps to know that healthy boundaries are important. Implementing them is harder. But if it was easy, a slew of attorneys would be out of work.