Benjamin notwithstanding, the last three of our children did not fight. It is refreshing in the extreme, but alas it was not so for the first three. They contrived ways to argue and tease such that I wondered why I found myself as a Referee when what I signed up for was Mother. One day I decided to keep track of just how much time in a given week they squabbled. It surprised me.
About two hours.
The fractious behavior was, I'll admit, sprinkled throughout the day like cayenne pepper, but was in reality measurable in minutes.
The truth is that much of the day hummed along.
Exaggeration is a pattern for me. When I was facing a medical procedure, or an imminent labor, there was a teensy possibility that I would magnify the experience by worrying, googling, talking, and staring into empty space around it. Unknown events can trigger this as well. It's as if I can't resist blowing more air into the red balloon that would be quite content to remain only partially inflated. Or like Eeyore's popped one which held no air at all.
Don't get me wrong. There is a place for readiness. Planning ahead. Even evaluating what went down after it's over. But there seems to be a distinction between the Boy Scout motto, Be prepared, and a mile long lead time dissecting worst case scenarios.
Very different is the case with those who trust in the Divine. These, notwithstanding they have care for the morrow, still have it not, because they do not think of the morrow with solicitude, still less with anxiety. Unruffled is their spirit whether they obtain the objects of their desire, or not; and they do not grieve over the loss of them, being content with their lot. If they become rich, they do not set their hearts on riches; if they are raised to
honors, they do not regard themselves as more worthy than others; if they become poor, they are not made sad; if their circumstances are mean, they are not dejected. They know that for those who trust in the Divine all things advance toward a happy state to eternity, and that whatever befalls them in time is still conducive thereto. -Emanuel Swedenborg, Heavenly Secrets 8478
