I decided to be a forgiving person back in my twenties. Why is it still hard?

 

There are some decisions that stick, like your commute, or alma mater. You don't have to revisit it repeatedly, unless of course you do. The waffling of the past year has sapped us of energy around remote work or heading to the office. Then there is supper, which requires higher level thinking, or take out, every single night. 

 

I chose to be forgiving, at least in theory. But then the people around me kept doing annoying things. 

 

One of the ways I have to stoke my forgiveness fire is hearing stories of other people who practice it. There is a phenomenal TED Talk by a man who describes the division of America like a stroke. One half is paralyzed while the other is worryingly perfect. Anand Giridharadas tells about the collision of a man of Middle Eastern descent behind the counter at a Texas mini mart, and a white supremacist who blasts him in the face with a shotgun. The reasoning, if you can call it that, was revenge for the attack on 9/11 which happened ten days before. 

 

The man whose life exploded with that gunshot, begged for God to let him survive. Astonishingly, and in sharp contrast to the other two victims of his attacker, he lived. In thanks for that grace, the man committed his life to building second chances for others. 

 

Ten years after the altercation at a mini mart, the two men spoke. The one who was injured forgave the one who had held the gun. He pleaded at his trial so that he would not receive the death penalty.

 

A story like this one offers a bridge from self importance to compassion. But I will probably need another next week.