I watched a few episodes of Downton Abbey with my daughters. It is their first go round, but my second. There are things I missed that later fell into place.
Mary had a steady flow of love interests. One woman summed it up.
"What is the collective noun for suitors?"
"A desire." was the quippy answer.
In the fist binge I overlooked details that became obvious. Mary faltered in choosing a husband because the sole consideration was her own happiness. One man described how he was studying her... her likes and dislikes so that he might better please her. But Mary was absorbed by her own wishes, leaving little room to weigh other people's needs. Even her unwillingness to share her breakfast struck me as incompatible with love.
A few of the other couples were sweet. Anna and John found joy and gratitude, even between the gusting tempests of an unjust world. Robert and Cora had a relationship based in respect. Yet even healthy marriages can be vulnerable.
The twins caught on to the precursors of wandering affection. When your spouse dismisses your opinions, and another person shows great interest it erodes the bond between you. Several times my girls called it early in the unravelling.
This aristocratic English world is fiction, of course. And yet it can be illustrative of those downturns that are very real. Plus I want to get my marriage right the first time.
Love,
Lori
