In forty one years of marriage we have owned half a dozen cars. All of them opened and shut with a tug of the wrist. There was the van whose handle broke off, and you had to bring it along in your pocket.
For ages I followed behind preschoolers who could barely climb inside without a step ladder, buckled them, and shoved the heavy door. At one point we secured the car seat in a spot such that I could lift the baby in through the window while the other kids scrambled in via the single door. I confess I sometimes pulled a trick of gunning on the gas in reverse sharply enough to fling the door closed. Maybe, just maybe that habit contributed to the demise of the
door which eventually fell off. We were at the park when it happened. I burst into tears and begged a few strangers to help me tie it shut with a rope so we could hobble home.
Then we stepped into ownership of a car from the current decade, for the first time since getting my driver's license. One with automatic doors. I was enthralled.
Everyone could not only buckle themselves, I could operate the doors from the comfort of the driver's seat. Even the back hatch responded to a simple press of a button. There were three separate ways to open and close the side doors. Plural. On both sides of the van. Imagine. Sometimes after unloading groceries I noticed that one was still open and I could activate it from the living room. This was the life.
But a few years ago the cord that operated the sliding door snapped, and the luxury of automatic entry abruptly ended. We went back to shoving.
Still it is possible to get both in and out of the car whenever we choose. Even in the dead of winter, when the side jams freeze, kids can climb in through the driver's seat. Not easy, but in a pinch it works.
I went to a wedding last month, and the church was saturated with love. The couple gazed at one another with enough affection to melt the frostiest winter day. There were programs on the pews with silhouettes of the couple, and even the shadows of their faces brimmed with joy.
Their love was completely accessible. The doors opened easily.
But there is a couple we went out with recently that is having trouble finding the amiable feelings. Hearts that used to glide open automatically are sluggish.
We asked them to tell us a handful of qualities they appreciate about one another and gradually the kindness unlocked.
As if by magic.
