The four steps made sense. Which is why I still remember it a week later. The minister spoke about forgiveness, and offered a four petaled plan to achieve it.  

 

1. Give the person the benefit of the doubt. If someone hurts you, the ache can be softened with the effort to cut them slack. Recently Benjamin was on a walk and was caught in the rain. He called for a ride but sadly my phone was on silent. I did not come to the rescue. His outrage was justified, and I felt awful. Hopefully the remembrance will return to me anytime someone else does not pick up the phone when I very much want them to. 

 

2. Give the problem up to God. Last fall I was at an impasse with someone. Resentment was fluffing its pillow prepared to stay permanently. As a last resort, and yet should have been a first resort, I prayed. The next time we interacted the friction was gone. 

 

3. Give it time. There are annoyances between John and me that have expired. I can find myself in the deja vu of circumstances that once stuck in my craw, and there is no angst left. It just doesn't matter anymore. Perhaps it is the prize for holding my tongue, but it could be that those internal villains got impatient and looked elsewhere for a squabble. 

 

4. Give your best effort. I suppose the forgiveness muscle is similar to pecs and biceps. It grows stronger with exercise. Athletes build up stamina by increasing the load. I guess if I aspire to the words I speak every day in the Lord's prayer it behooves me to begin with two pound offenses. 

 

By the way, Benjamin forgave me.