My darling adult kids decided to treat me to a yummy meal for Mother's Day. One daughter ordered lunch from a vegan bistro, and I was eager to pick it up. It was scrumptious. Our oldest son offered to pay for dinner from Blue Sage, the elegant restaurant we sometimes enjoy. His wife ordered online, then realized that they were not actually open. Maybe the owner is a mother and decided she too gets a day off. My daughter in law asked if I had a second choice.
"You can order for tomorrow. I am planning on being hungry again."
They all surprised me with roses, and an original crossword puzzle, which was just the right degree of difficulty to keep me thinking without being discouraged. The clues were about our family, and memories.
Marriage group was lovely. It always is, with some variety as to humor, or tears, or even angst. It is not broken if someone is wrestling with elder care, or a rascally teenager, or having to pack up all their earthly belongings into a container the size of a master bath. Because of the pandemic, we initiated three more groups in addition to the long standing one we are part of, which some people might consider excessive. Six hours a week to nurture our relationship? Toss in one meeting
with a mentor couple and it brushes up against a full day's work, in an area that most of us relegate to auto pilot.
Our pattern is to dive into a question, unless the check ins fill up the time with other worthy musings. The one we explored today/tonight/this morning (depending on your time zone) was simple.
"What does this group do for you?"
There was the familiar pause as each of us dug around inside our own heads. One woman spoke a word that resonated.
"It's like a reset. It gets me back on track."
Most of us are tugged in conflicting directions in the one hundred and sixty eight hours we barrel through each week. Or slog. But at least some of them threaten to yank us off course, if we can even recall what our destination is.
After this group, several of us expressed that we remembered: God is in charge. We love our partner. Life is good.
It could be considered overkill to be in multiple marriage groups. But then again, no one complains about meals showing up every single day.
