There are a handful of families who get these emails every day. I can think of five sets of siblings. Perhaps they forwarded one way back when, and the idea caught on. There are also some parent/child combos, and a batch of friends and office mates. Some are not themselves married, which does not disqualify you from either caring about it or investing in the ideal.
Something happens when we go in the same direction with like minded people. I remember being in an above ground pool, and we all started slogging clockwise. Pretty soon the water began carrying us along in the current. We started laughing, and splashing and enjoying the ride. Sometimes I tugged through the water, and other times I just floated with the whirlpool.
A similar dynamic appears when we are part of a group that believes in marriage. We may feel like when you are trying to walk in water.... there is a heaviness around your calves and thighs. But after awhile the motion picks up momentum, and everyone feels the excitement, both from the people and the wave itself.
We do this consciously with other couples. We invite people to "brag" about their spouse. Each time I marvel at the affection and appreciation that swirls through the group. Once a woman said that she had been grumpy, and her husband started to rub her shoulders. It softened how she felt. Another time a man told us how tenderly his wife cared for him when he was sick, shushing all his worries and sending him to bed.
It can be fun, moving forward in your marriage with your brothers and sisters and coworkers. You share stories and witness small kindnesses, and it carries you with it. One spring I heard a close friend describe how she empathized with her husband when he broke his beloved instrument, and she offered to go shopping with him to replace it. He was deeply touched. Hearing her generous response gave me the momentum to be generous too, and it influenced my next conversation with John.
"Sure, I will make eight butterfly costumes for your church service."
A few years back I walked down the hall of my kids' school at lunch time and noticed a father and son. As I passed them I realized it was a dad, but not his son. That son's own father died a few years ago. As I walked I filled in the story with my imagination.... here was a man giving attention to a boy whose dad was gone. I felt the sweetness and the thought carried me to consider new ways I could support other families and children. I was set in motion, simply by
brushing past another person's goodness.
Join the whirlpool. Tell me or a friend about a time when your spouse did something kind. Let's start a movement.
