There have been times I was clear about what I wanted. Maybe it was for one of my kids to empty the dishwasher, or for the crew to go out to dinner. If I am bold enough to ask, the answer may or may not be to my liking.
But sometimes my mother found a third option. It floated somewhere in the middle. If I had begged to have three friends for a sleepover and her stamina was not up to the task of giggling girls awake at two she would offer an option that hopped over the binary ones.
"Let's invite them for pizza and a movie, and then I will drive them home."
It lessened the number of nos that most teenagers keep track of in a secret tally. Other days she tossed a decoy in my lap.
"We'll see." It was probably a maneuver to buy time, but it worked.
Once a friend expressed her need that I sit at the registration table for an event. Rather than a flat rejection I offered to put up posters. I have never set foot on a mat for a martial arts class, but my bare bones understanding is that there is a strategy which does not involve either running away or fielding a blow. By redirecting the energy it is feasible to avoid pain for either person.
I have become more curious about this. Once when my child asked for a ride to the airport, my initial reaction was reticence to navigate a long trip in the dark. As I age, such escapades take a toll, even if I stay off the highways with paper tickets. In the awkward space between us I offered to take her to the farther train station, the one with plenty of connections.
It seems that God employs this tactic. Last fall I injured my back, and prayed for healing. While relief was not immediately forthcoming, there were consolation prizes. John was generous about bringing me meals in bed, and the kids called often. A friend lent me her best gadgets for coaxing agitated muscles back into place. My daughter suggested a series which I binge watched to distract me.
Just so you know, I have been asking God for a resolution to this health crisis. Masks and vaccines are edging us all back to normalcy. But as our family tries to plan a vacation to replace the one we lost last summer, His response reminds me of my mother.
"We'll see."
