There is a show called Off the Left Eye that delves into Swedenborg each week. Recently the topic was marriage. The episode is ninety minutes long, and covers many aspects of how two people create a lasting and loving relationship. 

 

Within the video there is a brief story by a couple describing a turning point in their marriage. They had two very young boys, and were looking forward to a vacation together. But each of them defined that vacation as getting a break from responsibilities, which with a pair of toddlers is hard to come by. They both harbored resentment, and the week was getting dark fast. 

 

Then the husband had an idea. There is a phrase in Swedenborg's book Married Love 180 that turned his attention away from getting his own needs met toward serving his wife. 

 

"...a mutual desire of heart and mind to do for each other every good."

 

He looked at his wife and suggested that they try it. 

 

For the next four days, they made each other their top priority. He took the boys to the beach while she had a nap. She made his favorite dinner, and let him go for a swim. Astonishingly, the mood went from agitated to tender. 

 

What I love about the story is that the circumstances did not change. They still had kids to chase and dishes to wash. Yet because they were motivated by generosity, rather than self serving, their experience went from disappointing to blessed. 

 

Sometimes heaven is closer than our own breath.