My daughter posted on a family chat that she was free and would love a call. I dialed. Well, that is a misnomer, harking back to when I was little and phones included a rotating disc that counted clicks. Anyway she did not pick up, which was disappointing. 

 

Later in the day she realized that her ringer was off and we talked for an hour. It was a treat to hear about her classes. It turns out that Arabic is capricious about dropping letters in the middle of words. It is not to be difficult, mind you. Native speakers glide over them if they get in the way of the music of pronunciation. If a phrase isn't beautiful enough, people smooth over it so that the song of speech is uninterrupted. Still if you're a beginner relying on everything being exactly how you learned it, it can be hard to cope with the moving parts. But since Hope has applied to be a tour guide for the World's Fair in Dubai next fall it will come in handy to be conversant. Hence the motivation to work at it. All I can say is "brao".

 

One day I was driving to a student's house to drop off supplies and was annoyed that my GPS was mute. I could see the map on the screen but what I needed were verbal instructions. Why was she failing me? 

 

Oh. The sound was down. Oops. I slid up the volume and things got easier. 

 

Last week one of my bosses sent me an email saying we needed to talk for a minute. I did what I usually do in such situations. I worried. How had I transgressed? How deep was the trouble I was in? Quick sand, or just a mud puddle?

 

Then I realized that if I had made a mistake, and I already had an inkling of what it was, it was better to know. How else would I be able to avoid it in the future? 

 

I read about a practice called Tonglen, which means “taking and sending,” The notion is to breathe in the pain and difficulties around us, not to own them but to be part of their cleansing. In our out breath, we intentionally pour good will to others, wherever they may be. I feel grateful for trees, and their willingness to purify the air in ways that make life sustainable for all of us. Our relationship with them is the antitheses of selfishness.

 

Turning down the volume on feedback may filter the air of things we are afraid to hear, but we may end up driving around in circles.