There is a Ted talk about the benefits of frustration. The speaker described several scenarios in which annoying conditions improved the outcome.

The first was a jazz performance called the Koln Concert . Because of a mix up the piano on stage was not the one the performer had asked for, but rather a practice instrument in terrible condition. At first Keith Jarrett refused to play it. But after the seventeen year old concert promoter stood in the pelting rain begging him to go on, he finally acquiesced. The result was phenomenal. Since Jarrett had to deal with tinny upper registers, and pedals that didn't work, he threw himself into the octaves in the middle, and pounded out ostinatos in the bass. The recording became the best selling solo piano album of all time.

It was not easy. 

In an experiment involving high school students, some of the class hand outs were in straight forward fonts like Helvetica, while others were in more illegible ones like Haettenschweiler or comic sans italicized.  As it turned out, the students who had to deal with ugly fonts, slowed down as they read, and actually absorbed more. 

A social scientist gave a murder mystery to clusters of students to solve. Some of the groups of four were already friends. Others were packaged with three friends and a stranger. I find it interesting that he latter were far more likely to solve the mystery correctly. But what is even more fascinating is how they felt about it. The all friends groups enjoyed the process and thought they had done well, when in fact they had not. The inharmonious sets, on the other hand, found the process frustrating, and assumed that they had not done well. Which they had.

It can at times feel like we are married to a stranger. Pounding out a relationship feels frustrating. Our partner is hard to read. We assume we are failing, because it is difficult. 

Maybe there is someone begging us to go on, even though the person we married is not the one we expected. It is possible that when the show is over, we will finally realize that we gave it the best performance of our life.