Mistakes can come in handy.
Sometimes I get lost. This happened more before having GPS but it still does occasionally. It is frustrating, especially if it is an uncomfortable part of town and I tend to handle it badly. But several times, years later, I have found myself in that same spot where I had once been confused and thought, I recognize this place!! Memory kicks in and I am actually excited to have a chance to get it right this time.
Years ago, maybe as many as forty, I was cutting a buttonhole with a seam ripper and pushed too hard. I sliced through the otherwise perfect dress, and let out a scream. I think of that almost every time I now cut one, and I am mindful to push gently. The accident has never repeated itself.
I cannot make the same claim about other mishaps unfortunately. We were given seven glass pitchers as wedding gifts, which seemed like overkill. All but one broke in the first three years, and I cannot even blame the children.
My niece plays violin quite nicely. She told me that her teacher had her spend an entire lesson playing the wrong way. She said that understanding what does not work is a crucial piece in understanding what does. Now when her fingers begin to slide into what she knew would produce an screech, she gingerly goes in a different direction.
Marriage terrain is always new. Except when it is familiar. Fresh scenarios have been known to replay past conversations, and it can be a chance to get it right this time. A friend told me to never waste a good conflict.
One time, long, long ago I thought John was getting overly frustrated with some menial task. I wanted to release him from obligation.
"This is too complicated for you. I will find someone else who can do it."
I learned the hard way that those words did not do what I had intended. I have been careful not to spill them again. Things still get broken, and the words come knocking at my lips, but I clamp them shut.
So go ahead and get lost. But pay attention to how you find your way home.
