I found a list of ways to calm an anxious child. It is so brimming with possibilities I am actually looking forward to the next time Benjamin comes unglued. Not really, but kind of. I feel like a handyman with half a tube of caulk who, having finished the bathtub, is hunting for more leaks. 

 

A subset of the forty nine strategies qualify as cheer leading. 

 

Chant "We are unstoppable!" ten times at different volumes. 

"I love you.

"You are safe."

"I am already proud of you."

"Remember how you got through it when..."

 

Those are aimed at reassurance, and can add balance if your child is still capable of hearing you. When the heart rate is above a hundred, that is less likely.

 

Another lump invites the child to process further. 

 

"If your feeling were a color, what would it be?"

"Let's draw a picture of it."

"What might happen next?"

"If this problem were a monster what would it look like?"

 

Yet another group engages the body.

 

Use a diffuser with lavender.

Run fast together. 

Squeeze a stress ball.

Hug.

Listen to music. 

Wrestle.

Try to move the wall.

 

One batch works if the child is still able to reason. 

 

"What does your thought bubble say?"

"What do you need from me?"

"Let's have a debate."

"Can we name ten people you love?"

 

Most of us are vulnerable to familiar setbacks too. You can let them bang you around like a billiard ball, or you can be proactive. 

 

It makes sense to have a plan, at least if there are situations that have a habit of recurring. By all means forget strategizing a fire escape if you live in an igloo. Inhabitants of the equator can forego stocking up on blankets. 

 

But for those of us who live with other unpredictable people, it helps to think ahead.