I went to church. In person. This was the norm for most of my life, but has become a non essential. John was preaching, which was the nudge I needed to mask up and sit alone in a pew. 

 

The rules have changed, and continue to do so. The congregants are not invited to sing, but there were four lovely people on the chancel who filled the nave with their rich voices. Two of the songs were ones I composed decades ago before life became complicated. In those idealistic days my trust in God was not weighed down with mortgages and insurance premiums, much less communicable diseases and civil unrest. I sang because my heart was teeming with hope and it leaked. 

 

In recent weeks that assurance in God's sublime promise has ebbed a tad. In theory I get it, but really I would like to know how this all ends. Listening to the quartet recite those lyrics woke up my faith from a long slumber. I used to sing them, but now I am not even allowed to. I can only listen to someone else sing for me. 

 

In his sermon John referred to Joseph's coat of many colors. 

 

"One thing that helped Joseph be ready for the difficulties he would face in the future was the coat of many colors that his father had given him as a sign of his great love. Every day he wore it he could remember that his father loved him. We too can be mindful of the Lord's care for us. The Lord has given us reminders in His Word. You can think of that coat as being the passages like 'I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you.' We also see the Lord's love in the world around us. If you are here in this Cathedral when you walk out the door look at the beautiful colors of the trees, or flowers, or sunsets. The Lord has given the whole world this coat of many colors as a reminder of His love."

 

I sat alone in my pew and began to cry. I felt clothed by the radiance of the words, the jubilation of the voices even as I sat in silence. What a miracle it is, that we can ride on the wind of another person's praise, when ours has trailed away and been lost.