Last week a few people asked if I was ok.
"No marriage moat appeared in my inbox. I wondered if something had happened to you."
It is true that these daily messages have gone out every day since March of 2010, despite weddings, sickness, vacations, power outages and writer's block. They went out last week too, but that does not always mean they arrived. There are the annoying rubbery results, and spam folders that seem to get voracious now and again gobbling up what is not technically junk.
Now that many of us spend time in the Brady Bunch format called Zoom, hearing one another comes and goes. With the click of a little mute button, we can awaken or eliminate the sound of people on the screen. Even ears perched for listening cannot make up for silence.
Speaking with people we care about is part of what keeps us in touch. Yet those communications are futile if not received. One way we can reduce static is if we package them in a soft start up. John Gottman uses the phrase to describe a gentle, non-confrontational beginning.
"I was hoping we could leave earlier." vs. "You are so thoughtless. You are always late."
"Can we make a plan about the weekend?" vs. "No doubt you are going out with your buddies and don't even care about my needs."
When our opening line is prickly, even the best listeners throw up barriers.
