(If you want to hear Lori read the story click)here

 

 

I subscribe to a bunch of blogs, to fertilize my mind with new ideas for marriage. Today there was one from Grantmakers for Effective Corporations. They recently had a conference which accelerated the collective commitment of the participants. When I hear about such events, my ears perk up like Spock's. 

 

One of the bloggers from that conference asked these questions of her fellow GEOs. 

 

 

1. What is your organization aiming to accomplish?

5. What have and haven't you accomplished so far?

My thoughts immediately pounced on marriage. What happens when we shoot these same questions at our relationships? Do we become more effective? Or do we awkwardly change the subject? Personally I am slightly unnerved by the gaping holes in my own answers, big enough for entire years to fall through. I am not sure a CFO from one of these million dollar organizations would nod in approval at my haphazard stabs at achieving what I profess is my life's loftiest aspiration. 

Strategies? Capabilities? Measuring progress? Somehow I doubt that a basket of anecdotal snippets cut the proverbial mustard. If I tell myself I want to get somewhere, what is my hesitation to pulling up a map and watching whether the little blue pin is moving?

Last weekend I was feeling limp about a personal goal. I decided to write down what I had already accomplished and what I aspired to do. In contrast to the blank numbness that came up when I grabbed in the air for signs of success, there were actual letters on the page. They tumbled into more words, adding up to benchmarks. I was shocked. I wanted to tell someone so I cornered the next passing Odhner to crow. Not exactly a conference but it helped.  The momentum lifted me out of neutral and into second gear. The proof on the page slashed into my ballooning feelings of impotence and gave me a reason to keep trudging. It shone a light on what I could not find when I was thrashing around in well-I-kinda-sorta-wanna-do-this-I-guess-if-there-are-no-obstacles. 

What would happen if you articulated to yourself or with your honey what your mile markers of progress actually say?