Marriage Moats-Shakes and Nods

Published: Fri, 02/03/12

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

(If you want to hear Lori read the story click)here

I read about an experiment in which students were told they were testing the performance of earphones while being jiggled. One group listened to voices and music while being asked to shake their heads for several minutes. Another group was told to nod repetitively. The third group held still. At the tail end of the session everyone was asked a seemingly random question.

"Do you think tuition for your school should be raised, or not, or stay the same?"

I find it fascinating that the people who had been nodding moments ago said yes to raising it, the group who had been earnestly shaking said it should not go up and the control group said it should stay the same. The first group chose this in spite of the fact that such a decision would cost them money.

Are we really so programmable?

I suppose if you practice saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... you hit your stride. Momentum builds up and carries you. I know when I lose traction and say yes to ice cream and yes to chocolate sauce at bedtime, a smiling child with arched eyebrows can coax me into whipped cream too without a struggle. Just last night my son asked for Taco Bell if he cleaned the living room. Yes. Of course the other kids jumped on and asked to earn it too. Yes. As chance would have it Zack's friend called as we were headed out the door.

"Hey, Zack, old buddy old pal. Any chance your mom would take us to Taco Bell?"

My generosity was limbered up already, so we swung by to pick them up.

I have an idea for a marriage enrichment device. You attach a brace to your neck that has a timer. Fifteen minutes before you are scheduled to see your spouse it starts yanking your head in an affirmative nod.

Who knows what the repercussions could be for intermarital yeses. It could even have a switch for changing to shakes right before you have one of those high pressure time share promos.

Photo by Jenny Stein

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