Marriage Moats-Turn the Oven On

Published: Sat, 01/28/12

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

(If you want to hear Lori read the story click)here

(this story is submitted by a friend)

My husband and I were putzing around in the January vacuum, after the expulsion of the Christmas tree suddenly makes the living room feel like a ballroom. I had a Honey-Do list for him, as usual. He was trying to methodically knock things off, like the never ending appearance of targets in a video game, but it was less addicting by a long shot.

I realized that there was still cookie dough in the refrigerator, from all that December baking, and it should get used.

"Will you turn on the oven, dear?" This was a quick fix, and easily slid to the front of the line ahead of hammering the broken shelf and taking out the remaining empty boxes.

He ambled into the kitchen and very carefully turned on... the front burner. I watched to see if he would also put on the kettle, for tea to accompany the cookies. Apparently he thought he was finished and moved to the next pressing task.

"Usually I bake cookies inside the oven. It goes much faster," I teased. Instead of getting annoyed, like we both did for the first ten thousand corrections we have volleyed over the years, he chuckled. He switched off the now red coil, and turned on the oven.

"I feel like Basil from Fawlty Towers," he laughed, remembering an episode we had watched together where Basil is trying to accomplish four things at once. In contrast to his wife Sybil, however, I was NOT nagging.

It is a good feeling, to be on the same team. We always were, but like a Little League game peopled by eight year olds trying to impress the coach we tended to try to out do each other. Instead of seeing each other as fellow players in this game called Make a Family, I used to see myself as star player, referee and coach. If he made a mistake, it was my job to point it out. If he made a foul move, I would penalize him.

But in our later years we are less invested in being right, and more grateful to have each other in the outfield.

Photo by Jenny Stein

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