Marriage Moats-Flock of Geese

Published: Sun, 01/01/12

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

(If you want to hear Lori read the story click)here

A friend sent me an article about teamwork. It described the qualities of a flock of geese.

They are able to fly longer distances because of the V formation. The flapping of the bird in front creates an uplift for the ones behind. This is more work for the lead goose, but it eases the workload for those who follow.

Just last night I was having a hard time. I struggle more than I used to with heavy traffic... at night... in the city... with glaring billboards about sleazy nightclubs... when we are edging on being late for an expensive show. I am a jittery passenger, which caused conflict in our early years, but my husband has mellowed to a place of compassion. John knew I was anxious and sent an updraft. He said encouraging things, not to negate the fear I was struggling with, but to carry me above it.

Another strategy is that the lead goose will rotate back into formation when he or she gets tired. Sometimes John and I can do this. We trade places as lead goose. Many nights one of us messes up the kitchen by making supper, and the other takes over to wash pots. Most mornings he hustles the girls to school and I herd Benjamin. Back when tantrums made more frequent appearances in the Odhner household we would swap places as the Parental Point Person, giving each other a chance to back off and just watch the scenery.

We have an unspoken routine when kids are prone to midnight upchucks. He will fetch a bowl and towel, and I will gather up the sullied sheets and head to the basement. Neither task is particularly pleasant, but as a team we can keep flapping.

The author of the article made one more observation about migratory geese. The ones in back will offer encouragement in the form of honks. I think I will try it. The next time a small child leaves a light on in the car and John finds out that the battery is dead just as kids are snatching back packs and sprinting for the door, I will stick my head out the window and honk.

Photo by Rhys Asplundh

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