Marriage Moats-New Roof

Published: Sat, 12/17/11

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

(If you would like to hear Lori sing this song click)here

As I sit here the living room is dark, even though it is mid morning. The Christmas music playing is punctuated with pounding and shingles sliding down the tarp that covers the windows. Men I have never met arrived before my children were awake and began ripping off the thin veneer that protects them from the December cold.

A neighbor called to ask if we are all right.

"Yes, we are getting the roof replaced. It has been leaking for years now, and the damage is spreading in both the second and first floors," I reassured her.

I noticed that even though she lays her head down each night not sixty feet from mine, she would have no way of knowing that our shelter from the storms was impaired. From her vantage point the house looked intact.

It can be heartbreaking to hear too late that the marriage up the street is caving in. We drive by for years, assuming that the wreath on the front door is a guarantee that things inside are cozy. We wave at small children walking up the path, and toss fuel on the belief that the family is doing well.

But after years of leaking, and frigid drafts whistling through the eaves, he leaves.

In another century it was customary for neighbors to all show up when you needed a new roof, or a barn. No one was particularly disgruntled by the work involved, since there was food and company to sweeten the labor. I never participated in one, although I did once belong to a work coop where we took turns doing large cleaning projects for each other. I have good memories of laughing as we scrubbed. The children played, and thought it was another brand of party, which I guess it was.

But Community has been marginalized by Independence in my lifetime. Needing help is an unforgivable sin.

And children lose the marriages that protect them from the cold.

Photo by Andy Sullivan

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