But soap does come in handy and I continue to marvel at how washable human skin really is. Even the reminders I regularly write on my hands disappear about the time I act on them. There is one there now, that says Orchard, which tells me to use the gift certificate for Orchard Artworks when it is is open this weekend. Then I will plunge my wrinkled hands in grapefruity suds and the letters will disappear. 

 

Behaviors can wash off too. My tendency to yelp at John when he leaves for work with my phone in his pocket has worn off. It is an accident and scolding does not help. I used to bark more before entertaining too. Mind you, the frequency of parties has dropped dramatically but even on the few occasions that we do I don't trample my family as I once did. I used to be downright dangerous for the hour leading up to guests walking through the door. 

 

If I try to make the process of cleaning up my relationship more pleasant, I am less inclined to skip it. When we lead marriage groups we often include one evening of frivolity. Having a good time is a wonderful antecedent to tackling actual vexations.  

 

 

The other day I heard a woman criticizing her husband while he was standing there. He looked embarrassed. I wanted to offer her a chance to clean up that messy tendency. I knew that she would be more likely to listen to suggestions about inter marital exchanges if there was fun involved so I invited her to the Marriage Conference this February. I mentioned the juicy parts first, like the horse drawn carriage rides, and the candlelight dinner with live entertainment. I mentioned the rock climbing workshop, and the movie Courageous. Maybe if those sweet enticements get her through the door she will also sign up for a workshop on Good Boundaries. 

 

Relationships are washable. Even the most stubborn stains can come off, given the right soap.