(If you want to hear Lori read this story click)here

 

A friend sent me a You Tube about deadlines. It showed what happened when a bunch of kids were given ten seconds to finish a half done picture, vs when they were allowed ten minutes. The first group of kids felt a time constraint, and only one idea emerged. Every kid turned the circles and lines into a clock. But the second group had the freedom to explore, and their drawings were much more creative. Their circles and lines evolved into animals, butterflies, faces, kites and flowers. The children looked happy with what they had made. 

 

Although I have learned to make good use of a few minutes with John, often spinning them into a string of gratitude, there are things that just cannot evolve quickly. When the seed package says "Water daily. Half sun. Blooms in 90 days." it does not work to water twice a day, give full sun and expect flowers in a month and a half. 

 

Sometimes when people become disgruntled with their marriage they demand a quick fix. If I suggest that the process might take months or even years they are inflamed. 

 

Now I am treading on thin ice when I pontificate about the importance of taking time to be with your spouse. John and I have maybe gone off without kids for a grand total of twelve days in three decades of marriage. It is not exactly our modus operandi. But he and I have a plan. In about thirty more years he and I are moving to a whole new home, leaving our well grown kids behind. And we will live together for a very long time.