(If you want to hear Lori read the story click) here

It is funny how we dress our best before we marry, and then when the commitment is all settled, the effort kind of withers. I remember a talk by Peter Rhodes about adultery, where he said something striking.

 

"If you care more about how you look when you will be seen by someone else than you do for your spouse, watch out."

 

I have remembered those words many times over the years, and it has realigned my thinking.

 

Another time I notice the inequity is when we are in a three way conversation and I am more intent on the feelings of the person we are listening to than I am to John's. Never mind if I cut him off, I can listen to him later. The trouble with that strategy though is .... I don't.

 

If there was an app for mapping our interpersonal priorities.... namely who we spend the most time with, exert the most effort for, behave our best with... it would be interesting, if not embarrassing, to see. Pre vow, I would guess that sixty percent of my mental energy went toward John. I did my job, but I thought about him and composed letters to him in my mind while I worked. Thirty years later.... hmmm... not so much. 

 

Anybody know of a good app for reminding me to be kind to my husband on a regular basis?