Marriage Moats-Nurse of the Year

Published: Sun, 10/23/11

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

(If you want to hear Lori read the story click)here

I was visiting with a friend recently who is soon to be the guest of honor at a reception. Liz won the Minnesota School Nurse of the Year Award. It was fascinating to hear her describe the tedious process of filling out a half inch stack of documents, describing her accomplishments.

She was actually surprised to recall the many facets of her career, and to see them lined up in such a distinguished way. Liz has made a difference, by golly, and handled a passel of gnarly problems well. But it had probably never occurred to her to covet such an award. There were too many actual breathing and bleeding patients to siphon her attention away from fantasies.

She talked about the little boy she eats lunch with every week. He has a tough life, and she brings books to read to him over sandwiches. Liz is perhaps the only person not trying to change this child's behavior. Then there is the little girl who was facing risky heart surgery. Liz contacted Make a Wish Foundation, and the little girl won a trip to Disneyland shortly before the operation. She wore her little princess costume for the entire week following the trip. Not only that, the surgery was successful.

For some of us, we are so preoccupied with the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, we scarcely have time or inclination to remember yesterday's small victories. Yet, after a year or ten or twenty of showing up every day, something builds that cannot be Fed Exed.

I am not sure it is possible to notice the accumulation of a lifetime, or a marriage. It would be like an Egyptian slave trying to fathom what all these back breaking blocks are for.

"You know, Azizi, I have a feeling that there is actually something magnificent happening here. I know, I know, the work is torture, but don't you wish you could see this thing from the clouds?"

"Get a grip, Ptolemy. Stop dreaming and push harder."

I am not suggesting that couples pause over a feverish child to look into each other's eyes and realize that this too is part of what makes the two of them into the one of them. Washing dishes after hosting a Thanksgiving dinner for thirty may not feel like the top of the love pyramid.

But when you finally do get that bird's eye view, you may find yourselves at the podium for your own Marriage of the Year ceremony.

you can support us at