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Mistakes can come in handy.
Sometimes I get lost. This happened more before having a GPS but it
still does occasionally. It is frustrating, especially if it is an uncomfortable part of town and I tend to handle it
badly. But several times, years later, I have found myself in that same
spot where I had once been confused and thought, I recognize this
place!! Memory kicks in and I am actually excited to have a chance to
get it right this time.
Years ago, maybe as many as forty, I was cutting a buttonhole with a
seam ripper and pushed too hard. I sliced through the otherwise perfect
dress, and let out a scream. I think of that almost every time I now
cut one, and I am mindful to push gently. The accident has never
repeated itself.
My niece plays violin quite nicely. She told me that her teacher
had her spend an entire lesson playing the wrong way. She said that
understanding what does not work is a crucial piece in understanding
what does. Now when her fingers begin to slide into what she knew would
produce an screech, she gingerly goes in a different direction.
Marriage terrain is always new. Except when it is familiar. Fresh
scenarios have been known to replay past conversations, and it can be a
chance to get it right this time. One time, long, long ago I thought
John was getting overly frustrated with some menial task. I wanted to
release him from obligation.
"This is too hard for you. I will find someone else who can do it."
Bam!!! That made him mad! I learned the hard way that those words did
not do what I had intended. I have been careful not to spill them again.
Things still get broken, and the words come knocking at my lips, but I
clamp them shut.
So go ahead and get lost. But pay attention to how you find your way home.
Photo by Chara Odhner
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