Marriage Moats-Wasbands
Published: Tue, 10/04/11
| Marriage Moats | Caring for Marriage | ||||
|
 (If you want to hear Lori read the story click) here
Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married
Huffington Post 9-18-11 by Gigi Levangie excerpts from the article which you can read here
My novels The Starter Wife and Queen Takes King, as well as the original screenplay I wrote for Stepmom, all center on marital break-ups. I've become a reluctant expert; the poster ex-wife for divorce. My second wasband and I (I coined the term, it sounds nicer than "ex") get along so well that we are often mistaken for a happily married couple at Little League games, the school play, or a first grader's birthday party. We still share holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, and, of course, Super Bowl Sunday. We sign off on emails to each other with a minimum three x's and o's. We kiss hello, we hug goodbye. Our divorce -- though public and heavily laden with fancy attorneys whose grandchildren's weddings we paid for -- was actually about as amicable as one could hope. I have never said a bad word about my "was" to my children; I hope he can say the same... What
I've learned since is that divorce lingers. It makes you sad when you
least expect it. It colors everything -- from a first date with a
promising somebody to a basketball game where your kid makes
three-pointers. And you can tell yourself, yeah, I did it for my kids,
so they could grow up with a healthy mother, a happier mother who had
more time for them. But single motherhood, even with access to help, is
not for sissies. Sure, I have more control over my children under the
circumstances -- but in return, I'm more strung-out, I'm more
overwhelmed...
Prior
to my divorce, an Oscar-winning screenwriter told me to keep in mind
that a couple is more than just the sum of two people. Do you get it?
Neither did I, but that's probably why I don't have an Oscar. Still,
I've thought about what he said a lot since then. He was speaking of
synergy, the mutually advantageous conjunction of distinct elements. The
two of you have combined to make something that would not otherwise
exist. What we are together is greater than what we are apart. On the other hand (now ring-free), when you divorce, there's you and the divorce. A marriage is a living thing. A divorce -- while it can go on forever in court, bankrupting you financially, emotionally, mentally and physically -- is not a living thing; it's a death... Photo by Rhys Asplundh
you can support us at
www.caringformarriage.org
| |||||