Marriage Moats-Community

Published: Mon, 09/12/11

Marriage Moats Caring for Marriage

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It reminded me of a barn raising. People showed up with tools and wood, trucks and saws. In the space of half a day there was a deck and ramp where this morning there was only cinder blocks sinking into the mud. The women fed the workers and the dozen children that darted between helping and playing.
 
It is powerful to see love in action. It was of course, love that fueled the project. Someone needed a ramp for smoother access to his front door. People decided they could build it. 

 
It would be convenient if none of us ever needed things like ramps. We want and expect our bodies to perform as well at fifty five as they did at twenty. Not that all the twenty year old bodies are behaving, but mostly they do. 
 
In my mind, and perhaps in yours, the ideal would be that no one faltered or needed support. We all carry our own weight and no one slows the pack. But something would be lost.
 
To tell the truth, I think the folks who showed up with hammers had a good time today. I heard laughing, and people sharing the tasks. If no one ever wanted help, how would we learn compassion? 
 
I cannot adequately describe how it felt to be part of the labor force today, because I confess I did not pitch in. But I have been part of other work parties, well named because the ratio of enjoyment to sweat was so high it glimmered. I have brought two hands to join with others as we painted houses, moved belongings, created wedding quilts, cared for children. We worked side by side, and knit our hearts together on the way.

 
I know of a marriage that is faltering. Their steps are mired in the mud of lost trust. But they are different than the man across the street. They are keeping their suffering hidden. 
 
It would be a blessing to see folks show up to help them rebuild an entrance to their own commitment. No judgement, or scolding. Just a level and a pair of willing hands. 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 
 
Photo by Jenny Stein
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