Marriage Moats-First Impression
Published: Wed, 09/21/11
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 I remember learning about the study of baby ducks in psychology class. A man made sure he was the first thing the ducklings saw when they cracked open their eggshells and Voila, he was "Mom" to them for life.
I think it was about imprinting, which is next of kin to impressions. We humans latch on to first impressions and hang on for dear life too. I know I have.
Once a repairman treated me particularly well and I have been hiking back to his store, past several others, for years. This last job did seem a bit sub par, in that he fixed the broken plug with tape instead of replacing it, which I might have expected considering the bill of $125, but I notice my first impression of him looms large in spite of it. To not bring my small problems to him would feel like a little duck turning away from Mom and snuffing.
"I can find a better Mother than you." I am vaguely aware of impressions I have made on people.
My house has never been what you would call pristine. It is a good bet that if you are sitting on the couch and suddenly need a pen for doing homework there are several writing implements between the cushions to choose from. I have often browsed the house after emptying the dishwasher and found enough dirty specimens lying around to fill it completely. We have not been in the running with say my daughter's friend's mother. Mercy came home one day with fresh eyes as to the possibilities for living standards. "Mom, even her spices are in alphabetical order."
So one day an elderly lady decided she would march over to my house to teach me and my kids a thing or two about chores. At that slender slice in time, I did have in place one of oodles of attempts for corralling kids to work. I wrote a list of jobs and left it on the table. Each kid had to do two before they could play. The upshot was, kids sprang out of bed to get the lamest tasks available. The woman and I were having tea, in perfectly clean cups I might add, when the first two kids woke up. They tore past us to snatch the list and began taking out trash cans. Two more kids appeared bleary eyed and moaned.
"Awww, I wanted to take out the trash." The woman's eyes got big. She had not expected such eager beavers at the Odhner house. She did not realize that after the approximately four minute bout of industrious behavior, the kids settled in for twelve hours of uninterrupted play. Not only that the entire system withered after a few weeks.
Sometimes we have misplaced impressions of other couples. They look as if their life is charmed, with ne'er an ill word between them. We came to the conclusion after solid research, say the three minutes we spent with them at a party, or the information gleaned from twelve consecutive years of Christmas cards. But we may be prudent to remember that not all first impressions are spot on. And I like to go back to what I read on a bumper sticker.
"What other people think of you is none of your business."
Photo by Jenny Stein
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