Marriage Moats-Fuzzy

Published: Mon, 09/19/11

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

(If you want to hear Lori read the story click)here

I sometimes hear of people who have trouble accepting help. I knew one woman who agreed to have a cleaning lady start coming after the baby was born, but she made darn sure she tidied up before the woman arrived. Other times I have heard of families who accept meals when they are facing health issues, but they cannot resist cooking up a little something anyway, because well the kids do like macaroni a certain way.

In my more idealistic days I once got an article published in Welcome Home Magazine about the benefits of children doing chores. I have since abandoned all altruism in favor of sheer bribery to get kids to vacuum, but back then I pontificated about the benefits of children feeling useful. Now I just want the carpet slightly more clean than it is.

Little kids like to wash the floor, and if you smother them with high expectations you can bet the tendency will soon become extinct. Let them splash, and use up six towels to dry it.

As a La Leche League leader I have spent many hours encouraging new moms to let their husbands dress the baby. My suggestion is usually met with horror.

"But he puts on the wrong sweater!" she gasps.

"He once put a onesie on backwards!!!" another shakes her head.

"Accept help on help's terms," I say.

People who want to support your family or your marriage will likely do a fuzzy job of it in the beginning. But fuzzy can be beautiful too.

Holding out for Perfect can be more isolating than a gated community with no children playing in the yards.

Photo by Jenny Stein

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