Marriage Moats-But I Practiced My Speech
Published: Thu, 08/18/11
| Marriage Moats | Caring for Marriage |
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 You could be talking or you could be listening.
The wire was so thin it could only carry one message at a time, so you
had to wait your turn.
Once when I was leading a Brownie Scout meeting
all the girls were bursting with things to say in opening circle. I
playfully suggested that instead of each girl having a turn to share
they speak simultaneously, to save time. They loved it. The room
exploded with the animated voices of twelve eight year olds all jabbering
about their day. No one had the slightest chance of being heard, but
apparently it didn't matter.
Sometimes I am having what looks like a
conversation with John, in that he says what he wants, then I say what I
want, back and forth like a volleyball match. But if you could open the
tiny window into my head you would discover that when it was his turn, I
had not actually switched my receiver on. I was preoccupied with
rehearsing my next batch of words. I paused, but his words were not
coming in and could have not a whit of influence on what I was going to
say next. His turns were merely punctuation between my turns.
This is not the ideal. When I can with super human
effort turn off my let-me-practice-this-monologue-until-I-convince-you
reflex, I have room in my brain to listen.
Because actually... it does matter.
Photo by Jenny Stein
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