I am already noticing a shift. I try harder to find other avenues for things I no longer need... recycling, repurposing, finding another owner. I want to act responsibly, and not toss garbage as if it will miraculously disappear when I can no longer see or smell it. I intend to get back into composting, which is actually a great way to use table scraps. I may not go as far as my daughter who bought worms through mail order. When we visited her, she introduced us. 

 

"Mom, these are my worms. Worms, this is my mom."

 

I have a visual memory, starting now, of the volume of my trash, which was more camouflaged when it showed up in a motley assortment of containers in varying sizes. I take a teensy bit of pride in knowing that our family of seven does not even fill a container designed to accommodate a generic household, especially considering that last week was a holiday and there was no pickup. Go, fam.

 

Relationships can create garbage too. The other day I was feeling ornery so when the girls asked for time on the computer I snapped.

 

"No! Go do a ten minute job." I threw my feelings at them as if those emotions would instantly disappear, but of course they resurfaced. I overheard a scrabble between them about the silverware.

 

I chuck my feelings at John, as well, as if he has an insatiable capacity to store it. I recently decided to see what would happen if I only allowed myself ten negative comments a day.

 

I found ways to curb the complaints, by imagining the person I was annoyed at had some current difficulty that rendered them incapable of empathy. I redrew the mental boundaries, and if it was not mine to change, I left it alone. Then there were opportunities when I composted negative thoughts.

 

"Hmm... I feel hurt that she complained about the mess in my living room. I will try to remember how that felt and not do that to someone else."