Marriage Moats-Blueberries
Published: Sat, 08/06/11
| Marriage Moats | Caring for Marriage |
![]() Blueberries are delicious. They are even one of the ten top foods for the development of the brain. Not that that is the reason most children chow down.
We had a friend who grew acres of them. He told us that the bushes will not bear fruit unless there is a freezing winter. I have sometimes pondered that. If shrubs could talk, perhaps they might tell me how they feel about the pending low temperatures. Maybe they are wise enough to know that cold does not always mean death. Possibly they are even smart enough to believe that dormancy is an essential component of the invisible process called growth. You might argue with the use of the word invisible.
"They get bigger, Lori. Duh. I can see that."
But I would argue back.
"You see the result of growth, but you do not see the growth itself."
You cannot point to a part of the bush on a particular day and take a picture of it growing. Granted, clever photographers have done time-lapse episodes that capture the change. But that is cheating.
For people who love blueberries, the anticipation builds in late spring. They know that something is happening that is worth waiting for. If you happen to have bushes in your yard, you might go peeking in early June to see how things are popping up. The scrawny green berries are not themselves very yummy, but they will be plump and sweet if you wait.
Fortunately humans have memories. They remember that blueberries are coming, and are able to resist the urge to yank up worthless looking plants in October.
Marriages are fruitful too. Perhaps we unfairly expect them to be sweet and ripe without pause. We may be impatient with the dormancy stages, when absolutely nothing is happening. But maybe the Gardener knows better. Growing a marriage is at least as time consuming as a blueberry crop.
Perhaps we would be more willing to wait if we could see the progress. But this too eludes visual capture.
If you were to use time-lapse photography to chronicle the changes in our marriage, I wonder what would show up. There is less yelling now than with the first season of children. Gone are the days I actually felt hoarse from trans house verbal parenting techniques. I am less frightened of the cold. Yes, I get annoyed, even angry with John. But I have seen enough yesterdays to know that today's hand is trumped by tomorrow. We are both plumper, and John is definitely sweeter.
Photo by Jason Buss
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