Marriage Moats-Sewing Class

Published: Tue, 07/12/11

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

I enjoy teaching children how to sew. They are thrilled to realize they can make pillows, or a cape, or a fairy wand. I am thrilled to see their joy when they show their mother.

Yesterday a little girl made a dress for her doll. She picked from the stacks of fabric, and I showed her how to make a gathering stitch, and a decorative hem. She could hardly believe her eyes. Then it was time for the last step... the closure. I asked if she wanted velcro or buttons.

"Velcro," she answered quickly.

I looked through the baskets of notions but could not find any.

"Let's do buttons," I said.

"But I don't know how!" she looked almost frightened. I was a mixture of surprised and mildly annoyed. What does that have to do with anything? I know how to do buttons. An hour ago she did not know how to set a gathering stitch or match points either.

I began talking her through it, showing her the button box and the special foot for making buttonholes. In a few minutes we had three neat buttonholes sewn, but uncut.

"They don't open," she argued. Her lack of trust surprised me. I had been leading her through the process all morning, showing her each step of tracing the pattern, cutting, pinning, sewing, trimming threads, and clipping curves. Was it not obvious that I could do this?

"Here is the little tool. Remember what it is called?"

"A seam ripper," she was confident about that small detail.

"I will slip it in here and slide it along the buttonhole, stopping at the end. Now you cut the other two." She seemed skittish, but was happy when she actually squeezed the button through it. She was so enthralled with the magic of buttoning and unbuttoning she seemed to forget that I was there.

Her mother was very pleased with the little frock with the slightly lopsided puffed sleeves.

I have a Teacher too. God is gently leading me to make a marriage, even though I have no previous experience. Sometimes I feel afraid.

"I don't know how to do this!" But what does that have to do with anything? God does. A few decades ago I did not know how to fall in love either.

I remember those first few Christmases, feeling completely unprepared to create a holiday like the ones I grew up with. Gradually I learned how to decorate. I still have some of those first humble ornaments... tiny wreaths and angels. At first I did not know how to gather my children from a party without major strife, but I learned how to leave gracefully.

When we bought the house we are living in, it was scary. We lived in California and the house was in Pennsylvania. John applied for the mortgage without ever stepping through the door. I had only perused the first floor for a few minutes. I knew nothing about points, escrow and inspection, but somehow we squeezed through the closing.

I wonder if God is annoyed or surprised by my lack of trust. His track record is impeccable. He has carried me through nine births, unemployment, several hospital stays, cantankerous board meetings, a childhood with a manic mother and a run in with Child Protective Services back when Benjamin had a penchant for escaping. Why would He not be facile with guiding me now?

He reminds me to use the tools.

"Remember what this one is called?" He asks.

"Looking for the good in my husband." I feel confident about that small detail. I look around and notice the beauty, even when it feels lopsided.

Sometimes I am so enthralled with the magic of my heart opening I forget that He is even there.

Photo by Jenny Stein

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