There have been some toasty days this summer. I notice that I become less cooperative as the temperature escalates. I could just chalk it up to unmitigated circumstances, and bark away. Or I can do something.

 

I set up a sprinkler for my kids. All it took was water and we were suddenly much friendlier. 

 

I knew a woman who was prickly. People shimmied around her trying to avoid her spikes. She was quick to say "I get angry a lot," as if she were describing something permanent like her blood type. She seemed to think that the admission shifted the responsibility to everyone else, to learn how to deal with her. I never once heard her mention an effort on her part to curb her temper. 

 

"Look Mom, these clothes are modest, and feminine. You can feel good about how you dress." She insisted I buy several tops and skirts, and called it a Mother's Day gift. This was new ground for me. I thank her for her help in updating my self image. 

 

I have often said that John and I are vacation challenged. Our parents were not the kind who did the rent-a-condo-on-the-shore thing, so we assumed we could not either. Then one summer I reserved a beach house. There was no eliminating question on the application like "Are you the kind of person who plans cool trips or are you just pretending?" We went. It was great. I have since taken Vacation Challenged off of my resume.

 

What would happen if you and your spouse, or you by yourself, made a list of qualities that describe you? Then start siphoning it into two categories... Changeable and Unchangeable. Decide which ones need to upgrade.