When I went to France with my five oldest sons and daughters we climbed the hundred steps to Sacre Coeur. It was a toasty July day, and we were all panting by the time we slumped at the top. Left to my own initiative I might never have undertaken the trek at all, or been well informed about what stamina would be needed.

 

I like remembering that day, and reeling up the shared triumph of enjoying the panoramic view.  It was hard, and hot, but since when are those insurmountable odds? Take breaks. Bring water. Keep going.

 

Marriage is a steep climb. Sharing a bathroom and checkbook demands more concessions than are required by flirting in a dim restaurant while someone else chops the vegetables, another stranger sings soft rock and a third person scrubs the pans. When you are married you chop your own vegetables, provide your own music and scrub your own pans. While it would be dicey to try to accomplish all of those chores simultaneously, one step at a time it is manageable. Taking breaks helps. 

 

And doing it together halves the task.