I was a yo-yo homeschooler. I put my kids into school and then took them out again a bunch of times over the years. Each decision was a heartfelt one, based on how things were going at home, and what I believed each child needed. But it sure looked like I was a flake.

 

I realized that I was fodder for gossip in the teacher's lounge, who probably used me as an example of inconsistency and substandard parenting. I could feel the grip of a waffling reputation as it pulled on me. I cared what the teachers thought.

 

But the turning point came when I realized that my relationship with those teachers would stop the moment school ended. Those folks, nice as they were, are all gone. My relationship with my children has endured. Why would I give more voting power to people who are only passing through, rather than the ones who are here to stay? 

 

I have done this with my marriage too. Early on I would make the mistake of saying something funny at John's expense. It got a laugh, and John did not complain. But then I read in one of the stacks of books I have poured through something I should have known, but didn't.

Photo by Rachel Gardam

www.caringformarriage.org