Marriage Moats-Thanks, Mom

Published: Thu, 03/31/11

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

My son Zack asked me to make sure he woke up this morning at six. Part of me wanted to "forget", since it was for a lacrosse game three hours away, where the temperature would be in the thirties. Not only that he would have to wait on the sidelines for the varsity game too, making the whole shebang a twelve hour escapade on a day Zack normally sleeps in until noon.

But the phone call up to his room on the third floor was forever sweetened by two words.

"Thanks, Mom." Thanks??? For waking him in the dark to dress in three layers of sweats to ward off the cold while he smacks his hands together on a frosty field north of Scranton? If he does not get to play for more than three minutes my inner Mother Bear is going to wake up from hibernation.....

But wait. He said "Thanks, Mom."

Which reminds me of the day he got four teeth yanked in preparation for a masked stranger strapping a version of barbed wire across his teeth. His mouth was oozing gauze and blood, but he still managed to say, "Thank you," to the antagonist with the pliers. In fact he said it three times.

Let's review. He is a sixteen year old boy. All the developmental psychology books label this period as one of rebellion, lack of respect for authority, withdrawal from parental influence. So how is it that he manages to soften my experience of life with those two words? Isn't it my job to sweeten his life?

Although I was glad to hear his appreciation when I bought him a new lacrosse stick last week, it was less surprising. But when I hear those words after waking him at dawn, or a messy ordeal with the oral surgeon... I am transported to a place I do not often run to.

Gratitude is a contagious condition. When I am gifted with appreciation, it births kindness within me. I watch it spread as I amble along my ordinary way. After Zack has spontaneously thanked me, I let drivers in ahead of me. I greet the post lady with a smile. I am friendly to the teller at the bank.

All because a sleepy teenager said "Thanks, Mom."

Photo by Lukas Odhner