Marriage Moats-Angel

Published: Tue, 04/12/11

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

Yesterday I bought happiness for ninety nine cents.

I downloaded Gabriel's Oboe from ITunes. I have played it approximately twelve times so far on the wonderful speakers I got for Christmas, so that rounds out to eight cents for each minute and a half of bliss. If I continue to play it at this rate I will slice the cost to the point where I think they will be paying me.

I immediately wanted to know the story of where it came from and checked out the movie The Mission. My personal movie screening team forbade me from watching it, knowing how I have been flattened by graphic scenes in the past.

But I can read about it online. I learned that the music was composed to win over an angry tribe threatening the life of Gabriel. It won me over, though I did not start out angry.

I am contemplating the conflicts of people in my life whom I love. Some are pretty fierce, involving mental illness, physical pain, marital strife and financial uncertainty. It feels as if the stakes are high. When I think of the unsolvable dilemmas they are facing, it seems hopeless.

But then a thought flickers in my peripheral vision. Maybe the conflict is actually a decoy. I think that the solution comes in a healed body, or a windfall of cash. But maybe the fight worth winning is on another playing field.

Gabriel may or may not have succeeded in what he set out to achieve in the jungles of South America. But he wrote this music, which makes me cry.

I have seen people who navigate their trials and become bitter, while others become softer. We mistakenly wrap success in packages called "I accomplished my dreams!" or "She is healed!" but perhaps the success that endures can live hand in hand with pain.

My father never did cure my mother of her manic episodes. One could stamp that "Failure". But I watched the process hone him into an angel. The music of his last words still sings in my ears.

"I only remember the good times."

Photo by Jenny Stein