Marriage Moats-No Shortcuts

Published: Mon, 02/21/11

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

I remember being irate at kids who would cut in line, back in elementary school. Come to think of it, it still grates me when adults find an excuse to do it too. Wait your turn! I heard of a company that will send someone to stand in line for you, if you want premiere tickets and are too hoity-toity to show up like everyone else.

One time my son convinced me to get up before dawn and shiver on the sidewalk for four hours so he could spend his hard earned cash on a Wii. I don't think I was savvy enough to even bring cocoa and a sleeping bag. I was shocked to see two people in the same line from my three block street, as well as my son's teacher.

I have a favorite recording of Garrison Keillor telling a story about a son who waited in line all night in subzero Milwaukee winter for tickets to a concert by Mammoth for himself and his buddies. His friends forgot to take the midnight shift and slept in the warm car.

"Hey, dude we're really sorry, but thanks for the tickets," said the well rested friends when they arrived in the morning. He stared with sunken eyes, and later dragged himself home and slept for nineteen consecutive hours under seven blankets.

Trying to get to the front of the line without going through the hassle is lame.

There is a conversation in Pride and Prejudice where Lady Catherine de Bourgh states that if she had ever chosen to play the piano, she would have been proficient.

Says who???

The only way to get to proficient, or even mediocre is to show up. Repeatedly. No shortcuts.

There were days in those early years with a gaggle of little kids when I wanted to step out of line, as I was waiting to get into the elusive off Broadway show "Happy Family". Anywhere was better than where I was. One time I stomped away from our yard where the kids were, characteristically, fighting, with not a whiff of an idea of where to go. Away, was my destination. Another time I remember looking longingly at the door handle of the car, as we were speeding along the freeway, thinking, I could just pull that lever....

But I kept going. I woke up every morning, perhaps for the fifth time since slumping into bed, and slogged my way through the lineup of diapers, cereal, refereeing, and kid herding. No shortcuts.

"Happy Marriage" has no shortcuts that I can uncover. You get there when you get there, and no one can stand in line for you. But you can bring a sleeping bag and some cocoa.

Photo by Andy Sullivan