Marriage Moats-Trampoline

Published: Fri, 01/28/11

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

What is a trampoline for... exercise or fun?

There was a tramp at the end of my one block road growing up. It had no net, and no adult supervision that I can remember. But we kids would bounce for hours, using games like Three X's or China Wall to increase our memory and endurance. We thought it was all about playing, but in the meantime we spent time outdoors, learned to share and follow rules, and increased our cardiovascular health. We got a workout, every time.

Is marriage about getting stronger, or fun? Last night I would have said the latter. John and I were smiling and bantering back and forth about an inside joke, enjoying the cozy fire and listening to music. But last week, when we were trying to book nine flights to California on four different dates out of three airports, using frequent flyer miles on two different airlines, with companion coupons and as few dollars as possible, our marriage was getting a workout. We struggled to be kind while being efficient, yet still following the rules and staying on task. It was exhausting.

I suppose if I were a hermit, and never had to share a meal or a car or a bathroom with anyone, I could still evolve spiritually. I guess. But if I am planning on increasing my heart's capacity to love, I may as well do it in a way that is fun too.

Photo by Chara Odhner