Recently my daughter cleared out my refrigerator. There were bottles of mayonnaise and salad dressing from the last presidency. They had migrated to the nosebleed seats on the shelves, hoping to escape eviction. 

 

It was brave of Mercy to grab them by the neck and toss them. It left more room to find the food that actually tastes good, like the sharp cheddar.  I was a tad embarrassed to not have gotten rid of them ages ago, but she was not dishing out shame, ready as I was to catch it.

Sometimes I hang on to expired thoughts and feelings too. Years after the fact I will remember a stale comment, as if it had any relevance to my relationship today. There are fresh opinions and sentiments for the taking, if I can only buy them.

 

There is a person who barked at me some fifty months ago, and every time I see his face I reel it up from the bottom of the shaft where it belongs. 

 

On the other hand there are foods that do not go bad. Honey found in the tomb of Pharaoh is still delicious. I like that. There are words spoken decades ago that still sweeten my heart when I remember them. One was a Christmas card message I received from the family I babysat for in college. It was addressed to "The Pied Piper of Bullfrog Lane." (Not to worry- no children disappeared on my watch)

 

I can take stock of the words in my marriage, too. Archaic ones need to be tossed out, while the nourishing ones deserve to stand in front.

 

One of my all time favorites is from the card John wrote me when he gifted me with a GPS.

 

"Because I never want to lose you."

Photo by Chara Odhner

www.caringformarriage.org