Marriage Moats-Kisses

Published: Mon, 02/14/11

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

After I read yet another book on parenting, or raising a child's self esteem, I make elaborate plans. Once I promised myself I would say three positive things about each of my children every day. I kept a little list, to make sure I was not leaving anyone out, and plugged affirmations in between reminders to brush their teeth or reprimands for chores left undone.

It probably sounded a little stilted.

"Hosanna take your clean laundry upstairs. Uh, you did a wonderful job in the play last night!"

"Micah, clear your dishes. Er, thank you for playing with Benjamin."

But I think it is progress. Perhaps there is no smooth transition from nit picking to a magnanimous spirit.

Last week I did an in house experiment. I filled my pockets with a handful of chocolate kisses each morning. I promised myself I would deliver them to John, one by one, accompanied by their namesake and a nugget of appreciation.

He liked it. He actually reached a saturation point for the chocolate.

But not for the smooching.

photo by Jenny Stein