When my sons first showed me how to use the iPhone that they were certain I must own, I was askance. I tried to weasel out of being part of the family plan. My low budget cell worked fine. It even had speed dial. How could anything be cooler than that? I had survived with a rotary land line for four decades without feeling deprived. Leave me alone.

 

For most of my life when the white telephone rang its generic ring I trotted over to it in the kitchen and lifted it from its cradle on the wall. I spoke into the banana shaped receiver.

 

"Who is it?"

 

I asked because there was no caller id. I dialed seven digit numbers I had memorized, mildly annoyed if someone had more than one zero as they took longer, and when I heard a busy signal I tried later. This was technology at its finest. 

 

Still I watched Micah's demo, if only out of the corner of my eye. His broad fingers zigged over the keys as he typed, and the phone actually corrected mistakes on the fly. Amazing. There was no way I was going to be able to master that.

 

But their lobbying worked. I signed up, and furthermore...I am converted. 

 

I even found a list of marriage friendly apps.

http://smalley.cc/the-top-26-iphone-apps-that-can-help-your-marriage 

 

It is fascinating to me that the LCD screen is a non anxious presence when it comes to modifying my behavior. Just Phony and me, duking it out as I try to learn texting, and apps. One of the mistakes I keep making is hitting the return when I am aiming my chubby finger tip at M. It results in a chopped up word and a broken sentence. My knee jerk response is irritation but I find it fruitless to get mad at a device that simply obeys. If Phony registered return, it is because I touched return. Trying to blame him is like yelling at my foot for throbbing when I stub my toe. I can either keep making the same mistake or learn to readjust my aim. 

 

I have a tendency to repeat mistakes when dealing with my husband as well. He is nearly as consistent as Phony. If we are working in the kitchen together and I nag him for leaving cupboards open, he gets miffed. The conversation gets chopped up and the connection we were feeling is broken. I can get mad, or I can readjust. If my aim is to work together and enjoy it, I will probably stop zigging those comments. 

 

I am speaking in the future tense because I am not there yet, BTW. I will text you when I manage to upgrade my habits.

 

 

 

Photo by Jenny Stein

www.caringformarriage.org