There is a theory that it takes 10,000 hours to achieve mastery.

 

That breaks down to six hours a day for five years, or three hours a day for ten.  If you are chasing after a goal that you can pursue in your sleep it could go faster. I remember hearing of a program for learning a foreign language by listening to tapes at night. I don't know if it works.

 

Probably no one over the age of twelve is under the illusion that buying a violin brings with it instantaneous ability. Neither do most newbies expect to figure it out on their own.

 

I wonder what the first few thousand hours feel like. Probably there are days when it seems like proficiency is unachievable. Maybe there are slumps when practice drones on.

 

There are gobs of people who have a splendid time playing the violin, without filling a concert hall. They fiddle in the evenings in their own living rooms, or in a band, or a small town orchestra pit.  It is still music worth listening to, and the musician improves on his or her own time line. I learned guitar in high school and probably put in a hundred hours a year with a fretboard beneath my fingertips. I got better, though no one except my father would have called me a master.  Many people describe marriage as being one of their top priorities in life. How does that translate into the 10,000 hours mindset? Do people actively devote time or money into bettering their marriages? I am one who believes you can start the clock long before you walk down the aisle. Skills like listening, compassion and conflict resolution are handy in all kinds of relationships, and practice greases the wheels.

 

The good news is that you do not have to be a Marriage Master to have fun. Laughing with each other in their own living rooms, is enough reward for most couples. I believe that a hundred hours of effort a year will bring you that kind of pleasure. But the trouble is, most people try to figure it out on their own. 

Photo by Chara Odhner

www.caringformarriage.org