Marriage Moats-Expecting
Published: Fri, 12/24/10
| Marriage Moats | Caring for Marriage |
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-2001
You wouldn't know it to hear me speak. There will be no hard evidence
laces between these words. If you hadn't seen me in awhile you wouldn't
suspect. But the reality is, I'm pregnant.
Two hearts are beating beneath my own, weaving their magic through me,
silent and unseen. They are a paired gift dropped from heaven on a
family so distracted by a transcontinental move, construction and life's
incessant clamor it took a while to notice. It can be easy to miss a
message no louder than a heartbeat if you never stop jabbering. But they
are coming, bringing with them the fresh scent of heaven and the dewy
kisses of angels on their cheeks.
I might not know it to hear you talk. There will be no announcement in
your Christmas card. When I look at you there will be no proof to point
at, but the reality is, you're pregnant.
Something too fragile for
the outside world is nestled deep inside you, working its alchemy on
your soul. In the relentless noise of your routine, crowded with lists
and deadlines, it can be hard to hear. If you aren't actually listening
for signs of new life within you it's easily missed. Perhaps it is a
baby hope, or an embryonic effort. Something miraculous and new is
growing within your marriage, tapping with tiny fingers on your spirit.
The arrival of our twins will not be easy. My amnesia from 7 past births
is not so complete as to leave me expecting no pain. There will be
work, doubt and the unsinkable fear. Yet somehow, anything less than
labor would seem like an inadequate price to pay for a treasure as
exquisite as these babies.
Most likely the pending miracle in your life lies across a threshold of
anxiety. Maybe if you had your druthers you would skip the uncertainty
looming between you and your dream relationship. Yet truthfully, wouldn't that feel
like cheating? Isn't an awesome marriage more honestly earned by sweat and
stamina?
The coming of Christ was subtle. Most people were so absorbed in their
own affairs they didn't notice. To catch sight of a star, however
marvelous, you need to be looking up, and evidently the majority of the
population weren't. To hear the beckoning of the angels in the dark, you
need to first silence your own diatribe long enough to listen.
Apparently not many did.
The Lord's entrance into our world included
emotions we often spin our wheels trying futilely to avoid... anguish,
uncertainty, and fear. Shepherds trembled, mothers wept, wise men
plodded weary miles, all in response to what may have felt like a
chaotic series of events.
Yet could anyone begrudge that bargain cost
for the greatest gift in history? To have God with us we should stand
ready to tremble, to weep, to plod. Then we might feel some fraction of
worthiness to welcome the Prince of Peace into our throbbing hearts.
photo by Chara Odhner
www.caringformarriage.org
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