Marriage Moats-The Grandmother Effect
Published: Thu, 12/02/10
| Marriage Moats | Caring for Marriage |
 I watched a TED talk about a man named Sugata
Mitra who placed computers in a slum in India and observed how children
interacted with them. He was delighted when he came back a few weeks
later and found that they had taught themselves how to Google, record
their own music, do math and make video clips. He also spoke about how
much joy they felt in the process.
Just to see what would happen with an impossible
task, he gave computers that were programed in English to teach
biotechnology, to a group of 12 year old children who spoke only Tamil.
Then he left. In two months he came back to see what had happened,
expecting that they would not have been able to decipher it. The
children told him they had learned nothing. He asked how long they had
kept trying, and they answered that they looked at it every day.
Surprised, he asked, "You kept looking at it even though you understood nothing?"
Then one girl said, "Apart from the fact that
improper replication of the DNA molecule causes genetic disease, we have
learned nothing."
Taken aback, he tested them on the material and
in fact they had retained 30% of the course on biotechnology all on
their own. Then Mr. Mitra added what he called the Grandmother Effect.
He asked women to come and cheer for the children as they interacted
with the computers.
"Great job!" they said.
"Show me more!" they encouraged.
When he returned after a couple of months they had now learned 50% of the material, and they were still having fun.
Most of us are enrolled in The Marriage Course as
a class of two. We have no teacher, and no peers. We may spend time
with other couples, but rarely do we share the experiences and ideas
that have helped us to grow.
I notice that Mr. Mitra found groups
to be much more advantageous than children working alone. That is of
course the premise behind marriage support groups. It is not hard to replicate his model. Invite
three couples over on Friday evenings for a couple of months. Talk about
a topic like communication, or raising kids, or how you fell in love.
You could go so far as to check on the internet, finding ideas on the
caringformarriage.org website, or many others. You could read a book
together, some of which are reviewed on our website, or waiting for you
in the bookstore.
You could even increase your odds by asking an
older couple to mentor you, by taking you out for coffee, cheering for
you and encouraging your success. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/sugata_mitra_the_child_driven_education.html Photo by Chara Odhner
www.caringformarriage.org
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