There is something I have not told you about John. You would not know it to look at him. In fact he was in his thirties before even he caught on to what was happening. He has celiac disease.

If you are not familiar with that condition, it means he cannot eat gluten, or to oversimplify, wheat. Some people have celiac disease for years before they get a diagnosis. They suffer in private, unpleasant ways.

When he started avoiding gluten, it was not nearly as trendy as it is now. Most waitresses in restaurants said "Huh?" when he mentioned the restriction. There were some embarrassing moments as the rest of us looked away and wished we were any place else. Invariably he did a tete-a-tete with the over worked waitress and more often than not, the chef. Then they would often still bring him a salad with croutons. But these days there are often menus that describe all the gluten free options.

I used to think he was making too big a deal about it. After all I could not see any damage happening to his intestines. He had explained to me about the little villi losing their capacity to absorb food when they get raked by passing gluten. Yeah yeah, just eat the asparagus. We are making a scene.

There is only one solution for celiac disease. Stop eating gluten. Then the villi have a chance to heal, and a person can lead a long and healthy life.

Now as old age is less hypothetical and more of a pending condition, I am grateful for his diligence in avoiding an untimely death. I am more supportive, although there are nights when I serve a kid friendly dinner and point him to the frozen spinach.

There is a marital health issue that looms like a nimbus cloud. You cannot tell, just by looking at someone, and perhaps they are oblivious to the condition themselves. They are suffering from pornography.

People who ingest it suffer in private, unpleasant ways. One therapist, himself a recovering addict, told me that some of his famous clients spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on unsavory practices, trying to feed the unspeakable hunger. (He was dying to name drop, but could not break confidentiality) People who let a regular diet of porn into their systems lose the ability to absorb healthy affection, having been raked by unclean habits. They starve, in the same way that celiacs experience malnutrition no matter how much pasta and bread they scarf down.

 

There is only one solution for lust. Stop feeding it. Then your heart can have a chance to heal.

Photo of gluten free cereal by Chara Odhner