Once I went to a women's circle honoring a bride before her wedding. We were each supposed to describe one practice that kept our marriage strong. Another woman said that she and her husband always hugged each other goodbye in the morning.

 

Thunk.

 

I failed that one. I had long ago given up the practice of chasing John to the door as he left, because I was holding a baby, or changing a diaper, or folding the last of the laundry, or... or...

 

But sometimes our habits can stay long after the reason for them has expired. I no longer hold babies.  I realized it was time to revisit the conditions of that self imposed exemption. It was time to hug John goodbye. 

 

So I started. I think he was shocked. Had he or I done something wrong that I was suddenly being so nice? 

 

He liked the attention. A lot. I cannot get back all those mornings when he slipped out without the warmth of my arms on his skin, or the taste of my lips on his. But I can change a bunch of tomorrows. 

Photo by Chara Odhner

www.caringformarriage.org