Marriage Moats-Ubuntu

Published: Mon, 06/15/20

Marriage Moats

Caring for Marriage

Next week is the fortieth anniversary of our marriage. Forty. As in Moses led the Children of Israel for forty years in the wilderness. Otherwise known as two score. Three baker's dozen and change.

What happens when a person's life is so interwoven with another's that the lines between them become less like boundaries and more like the creases on our weathered hands?

Fabric is comprised of a goodly number of threads, lined up neatly in two directions so that there aren't holes. When all of them behave, there is no need for glue, or staples. Just the in and out, the up and down of thousands of fibers side by side. Held together they can quiver in the breeze atop a flagpole, or flutter around the legs of a little girl whose dress makes her dance.

John and I had no idea when we embarked on this commitment what lay ahead. For good reason God keeps some things a surprise. But we have moved together, from one home to another, bringing with us the must haves of a family of five... or six... or eight. It is possible that we may stay in this house until there are no more reasons to leave, though the children we have borne found them. In other respects we have moved often... our stances, our pride have stood in the way of partnership until we sought better paths. Circuitous ones, like a tribe of migrants in the desert following a cloud.

Longevity is one way to measure a marriage. Closeness is another. I could no more imagine who I might have been without the influence of John, than I could unpick the strands of thread in a quilt. They work better together.

I am who I am because of who we are.

-Ubunto African philosophy

Love,
Lori

Photo by Jenny Stein